The Weight Gain

One of the things I didn't expect to concern me was weight gain during this pregnancy. It's normal. It's expected. It's not just fat but extra water, blood, BABY. 

But the past couple of weeks the weight gain, and my changing body, has really been affecting me. 

I'm not normally, or naturally, a skinny person. I'm a standard 10-12 (and can be a16 in those unforgiving shops- Topshop I'm looking at you; I can be an 8 in other stores, more generous in their sizing). I do have to watch what I eat and before getting pregnant, was going to the gym or swimming at least 3 times a week. 

That all stopped quite abruptly when I found out I was pregnant. A mixture of struggling to find food I wanted to eat and the sheer exhaustion in the first 12 weeks meant I just ground to a halt. 

I don't know what I'm finding hard to deal with. I think a lot of it is that right now I still don't look pregnant- it very much is a spare tyre and a lot of the weight I have gained (around 8 pounds by week 17) has gone straight to my hips, only enhancing this. 

I also think I genuinely expected and glamourised myself as having a healthy pregnancy where eating well and exercising were balanced and I was vitalised. My first 12 weeks couldn't have been more different. A mixture of eating whatever was plain, carb-y and beige and going to sleep at 7pm was not how I imagined nourishing this baby. 

Which then bought the guilt. Was my baby getting enough nutrients? Was it going to be born with an addiction to pasta? Was I being selfish and should I just eat the salad? 

Coming out of the first trimester I feel really... blobby?! My clothes still fit but are definitely more snug and they don't hang the way they used to. Which I expected, and as I said, I really didn't think my changing body would bother me. To be honest, being in the midst of wedding season and shopping for a beach holiday probably haven't helped the body confidence issue... I just can't wait until this bump pops and I can embrace what my -bloody incredible- body is actually doing. Growing a baby. 

In week 16 I finally felt I had enough energy to go swimming again and really, really enjoyed it. Exercise really does ignite those endorphins! I've also been able to eat more things again and can plan what we eat, rather than having to go with whatever won't make me feel sick. A bonus for bank balance and the weight control!